When I was young I used to create art to escape from my reality. A difficult reality filled with anger, volatility and unpredictable situations. I was always so afraid and anxious about what was in store for me when I got home or woke up. Art, writing and music helped me feel free and even joyful. I felt that I could breathe and move and most importantly express myself using these tools.
Now as a 40+ woman, I am still healing from some of the things that I experienced as a child, youth, and young adult. I find myself once again using art to help me to process what is coming to the surface. In my last blog post I spoke about this liminal space that I find myself in often. It is in this space that I want to heal so that I can clearly see what lays ahead and which path to take in any given area of my life.
Yesterday, I went outside and took some deep breaths and looked for natural items to make tools with. I touched leaves and snipped at branches and picked out stones and wood. I found dried flowers from the summer before and realised that new buds were appearing all around me. I found thrown away objects that could create interesting shapes. I cut and made paint brushes from fluffly pom poms and twine. Using what I already had, what I made, and Mother Earth’s natural tools, I was ready to create!
Next step for me was to go inward. What am I feeling, where is my heart and spirit sitting. Part of me feels scattered, multi-tasking, busy, and overwhelmed. Too many pots on the stove. So, I thought of splatter art. Using paint brushes to have fun with colour and make a mess! Art should be fun, free, and unstructured to be able to really let loose and be expressive. I created Splatter Garden cards in honour of Spring. Where the chaos of the splatter meets beautiful blooms. I know that in my messy mind there in lies beautiful thoughts filled with love and light.
Now I was warmed up and my creative juices were flowing. I used the mark maker tools that I created along traditional paint brushes, water colour and ink to create a Fantasy Garden. I was still feeling the Spring theme, where so much is born and new again. Where life is happening as I type! A space for me to explore, imagine, and play with colour, layering, mark makers, nature’s tools, let go and have fun. Where I could work out some of the business inside of me to create a garden of all the emotions I am feeling.
Creating my Fantasy Garden helped me to release and surrender to process. To breathe through some pain and sadness. To let go and be free for a few hours from responsibility and obligations and be with myself allowing what is inside to appear before me. Creating art creates presence. My spirit is at work when I create.
So, yeah, this is a glimpse into how I processed my emotions this week using art and even in writing this blog. It is important for me to document what I do, how I feel before and after an arts process, and identifying the benefits and drawbacks. Then I can actually see the process in it’s entirety and do it again!
If you like what you see and are interested in this particular journey, please contact me. I would be honoured to support you.