I’ve been on a wellness journey for awhile now and understand more and more that if I am not consistently taking care of my physical ,mental, emotional and spiritual health, then I am not showing up fully as who I am to everything that I do. How could I possibly serve with a cup that is only half full or even empty, especially as a mother to my children, a wife, an artist, an entrepreneur, a facilitator, a friend and a community builder. I learned about Spiritual Activism when I did my Sacred Leadership Training with Sacred Women International back in 2017. In seeing how burnout can be such a reality for some of us, it’s important more so now then ever before to take care of self. I see self love as a revolutionary act and the biggest form of activism today!
Growing up, I was always the one that friends would turn to and come to for advice and to lean on for support. As far back as I can remember, I was always a shoulder for my mom to cry on. I got really good at holding space for others. I got really good at putting others’ needs first before my own and often lived in disappointment, resentment, anger, and loneliness. I would ask myself why doesn’t anyone ever check for me, look out for me, and hold space for me?! What I did not see then that I see now is that my value was so closely attached to what I give rather than just being me and not having to do!
When I turned 40, something within me clicked. Not only was I giving form an empty cup, but I was allowing people to take what little I had in my reserve bank. Like enough was enough. It was time to put myself first and take care of me. It was very shortly after my Dad passed away that I wanted to really live my life and to do that meant showing up for me. This new way of being Jothi has been emerging slowly. Every step of the way getting to know who I am again at 40 because I had spent most of my life coasting, roaming, in a fog, pleasing others, being there for everyone else but myself. It was my time.
I am still learning different ways to honour myself and take care of me. I see myself as a beautiful garden that needs to be nurtured and fostered. I have done some deep healing and with that I have seen my value and self worth emerge and who I really am under all the trauma and triumph. My spirit is so much more than the sum of all my parts. I am powerful and with that power comes responsibility. My mentor, teacher, and mama, Reverend Aina-Nia of Sacred Women International recently reminded me that I have a responsibility to lead myself first so that I am able to lead others.
So, I am really taking a closer look at what my emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual health looks like. I am taking inventory and what better month than Spring to do that. How do I show up for myself in these areas? Where can I improve or shift and what is working so far. How am I supported? I know for sure that there are going to be days that are tougher than others and so what tools do I have in my toolbox to help me get through these tough days. Who can I call upon to hold space for me to process what I am feeling or thinking? How being still and listening is key in my wellness journey. I have come such a long way in getting better at asking for help especially from other women. Breaking old patterns of internalizing my pain, not taking care of myself, and putting myself last when helping others, is my priority. It’s all so cyclical! When I take care of my body, mind, and soul on a daily, I am able to express, process and move through challenges, come from a place of gratitude and strength, serve my family, clients, friends, and community in a real way, and have deeper more meaningful connection to myself and others which feeds my soul. The impact on my whole self and others around me when I take care of myself, is huge! My light radiates this energy everywhere I go.
We are destined for greatness and have gifts to share but we must first give to ourselves, heal, and fill our cup. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to switch up hats and masks with every role that I play in this life. I am JOTHI and I want to show up fully as me to everyone and everything that I do. That means really knowing who I am. That means taking care of myself so that I can show up fully as who I am. It’s not always easy and I know that life can get the best of me at times but I am aware and that is a great start.
So if ever you are feeling that you do not have the work life balance that you want, ask yourself where your personal wellness practice sits on that line. Because, I bet if you were to put more time and energy into your own personal wellness, you would be more aware of what you want and deserve with work and life!
Take care of yourself and ensure that you have great wellness tools in place and people supporting your journey!
Look out for HER Space coming this Fall 2019!
A space for women to put their self care first for a couple of hours a week over the course of a month.
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive updates on HER Space, future events, workshops, exhibits, and talks around ways that we can fully show up as who we are using ART, SPIRITUALITY, and MINDFULNESS tools!